Self-Injurious Moments of 2006 Awards Season

Without some minor injuries, your favorite awards shows would barely be watchable. Here's a few oozing scabs to pick at:

• Writer Annie Proulx wrote a short story back in 1997 that resulted in a film called Brokeback Mountain, which was nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in 2006. She thought it should have won that award. It did not. We’re all entitled to our opinion. Her blast of all things Academy can be viewed here.
  
  
• Conan O'Brien brought on the funny during the opening sequence of the 58th Annual Emmy Awards, including a controversial nod to the absence of a nomination for ABC's TV series Lost. Unfortunately, Comair Flight 5191 crashed earlier in the day and ruined everything.
  
  
• Carrie Underwood takes home two CMA Awards. Faith Hill takes home the Practical-Joke-Gone-Horribly-Wrong Award, by faking astonishment when Underwood won Female Vocalist of the Year. No longer wondering why Tim McGraw gets all the acting gigs in the family, are ya? Keith Urban missed all the antics while he was recovering in rehab.
  
  
• Despite giving out an award for Ringtone of the Year and featuring Shakira in a performance where only her hips were telling the truth, the MTV Music Video Awards had a disappointing television viewer turnout in 2006. To what can we contribute the loss of nearly half the 2004 viewing audience? Famine? The more likely culprit; the omission of the Breakthrough Video category.

In honor of all things outrageous, I present the following award absurdity:

Two South African rugby players, Ben Zimry and Wayne Matthee are suspects in the pummeling and kicking death of opposing player Riaan Loots. Both players were subsequently presented with a player of the year and backline player of the year at the Delicious Rugby Club's award benefit. All things equal, the award goes to the player with the highest death toll.

Good riddance, 2006 with all your bleeding wounds of entertainment.