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Did Chris Brown's Tears Wash His Sins Away?

2010-07-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

There is no doubt Chris Brown felt emotion during his performance of 'Man in the Mirror' at the 2010 BET Awards. As a tribute to the late Michael Jackson (a controversial figure of his own), feelings were bound to be stirred up. This was also Brown's first public performance since he plead guilty to assaulting Rihanna as the two left another awards show related event. Crying may have been a result of built up tension, nerves, a suggestion by someone that it was high time for Brown to act like he did wrong.

The public has not been forgiving or kind to Brown, nor do they feel he has been particularly demonstrative in his shame, repentance or remorse. Although it is being reported that R & B artist Lloyd passed on some much needed advice to Brown on how little visible emotion he has displayed, it seems Lloyd does not want to be associated with any fakery that may have been involved with Brown boo-hooing on stage. He's asserting that he didn't tell Brown to cry.

Should you date Chris Brown? No. Is he a fantastic performer that deserved a good shunning? Yes. Is he going to win any brownie points from the public if he turns on the tears to try to win us back? We need to see real emotion, Chris.

Rapper Denies Advising Brown to Cry at BET Awards Show [theCMUwebsite.com]

5 Creep-proof Methods to Socialize Your Marketing Campaign

2010-03-03T12:29:00.000-08:00

Social media email marketing is about sharing, networking and establishing a continuous presence without behaving like a creeper. Practice these five essential steps for immediate results.

Give your customers a choice in how they want to be connected. Omnipotence worked for Oprah, it can work for you. Twitter. Facebook. LinkedIn. Use them all. World domination will follow.

Maintain relevance. No one wants to hear about your Aunt Lydia’s unfortunate accident with a knitting needle, unless you’re selling prosthetic eyes for a living. Keep the information current, pertinent and relatable. Status updates are the most powerful part of the social media equation. They serve as mini press releases in disguise. Announce an upcoming event or create buzz around an unreleased issue of your e-newsletter.

Be a friend. A professional friend. Recently, the viral wine company, Toasted Head, contacted me directly and offered to send me a t-shirt after I commented on their Facebook fan page. I then proceeded to talk about it on twitter, to my friends and as you can see I’m still talking about it today. A friend would give you the shirt off their back. A professional friend would use it to sell wine.

Group forums on social media sites are a great way for you and your company to be seen as a valuable resource in your industry. Answer questions thoughtfully, join in discussions, point people in the right direction. And make the occasional customer feel special.

Know thyself. Keep up with what throngs of fans are saying about you by using social media's search functionality. After you’re done basking in all this positive (hopefully) attention, keep delivering the goods to your fanboys and girls. When it comes to social media, talk is profitable.

A search for #nook would reveal that @ComeAlongSloan recently purchased the eBook reader for her mother-in-law and @annakavanaugh is feeling indecisive. Real-time marketing data from two real-world customers. I'd bet Barnes and Noble is listening.

Think above the fold. When a visitor clicks on a link and has to scroll around to find what you sent them there to find in the first place, (a.) you’re annoying, and (b.) you’ve lost them. Keep your most compelling information above the fold, please.

If you think this post has nothing to do with awards, or awards shows you'd be right. If you think I'd make a fantastic marketing blogger then comment to your little hearts content.

The First Ever Minnesota Fringey Awards

2009-08-02T09:01:00.001-07:00

Some might call it weird, but I like to think of it as...eclectic. Yeah, that's it! The Minnesota Fringe Festival is an annual event that celebrates the performing arts in a big way. It's in its 16th year and is going on right now.

And this year, we've got the added bonus of the First Annual Fringey Awards. Here are the finalists.

The Traveling Musicians

The Harty Boys and in the Case of the Limping Platypus

Sarah, Your Ovaries are Drying Up: The Musical

The Viewers Choice award winner, The Most Massive Woman Wins, has already been selected. The Grand Prize winner will be announce on August 9. Leave a comment and let me know which one you like the best.

Update: The winner has been chosen, and it is Sarah, Your Ovaries are Drying Up: The Musical. Congrats, to you Sarah. And your ovaries. I'm sure they were both an integral part of your success.

Remembering the 'Keeper of the Oscars'

2009-08-02T07:40:00.000-07:00

I have always been hesitant about using this forum to post the passing of famous people that have won awards. Because of the wide range of awards and the life/death continuum known as the circle of life, I wanted to avoid having a blog that reminded readers of the In Memorium segments of most awards shows.

While I remain torn, I've decided to take it on a case by case basis. And here is one case where I felt it was more than appropriate to report an important passing in the awards show genre. According to the Associated Press, Steve Meissner died of a heart attack at his home on Wednesday at the very young age of 48.

Known as "the keeper of the Oscars", Meissner gave each statuette the white glove treatment, before handing them off to be manhandled by a celebrity. Each Oscar was carefully catelogued by Meissner, who maintained impeccable records and worked with award winners to ensure their names were properly engraved on their award.

As part of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences staff, Meissner kept track of every

Oscar ever awarded, documenting its whereabouts and refurbishing vintage awards. He also served as an executive assistant to academy president Sid Ganis.

Academy's 'Keeper of the Oscars' Dead at 48 [AP]

What Do MJ, Nuclear Power and Andie MacDowell Have In Common?

2009-07-25T16:35:00.000-07:00

The Save the World Awards used their title to tongue-in-cheekily pay tribute to Michael Jackson, in which they have not saved the world by contributing to the incessant focus on his passing. Or have saved the world by producing one of the funniest, strange and weirdly honorable press releases I have read in quite some time. That doesn't make any sense.

For example:

1. The awards were hosted by Andie MacDowell, who I fell in love with all over again while watching St. Elmo's Fire with my teenage daughter a few nights ago. Ahhhh....dreamy Rob Lowe, more appropriately aged Demi Moore, and lycra on Mare Winningham's thighs.

2. A typo has Nobel Peace Prize winner Betty Williams and Olympic sprinter Carl Lewis mubbing together.

3. Who builds a nuclear power plant, never uses it for its intended purpose and instead throws a lavish awards ceremony in it? Answer: Austria.

4. One of the environmentally friendly, eco-conscious, carbon footprint removing efforts employed at the event was composting. Most likely with one of these handy-dandy ~~home~~ future solar power station composters.

Not to throw into question whether Michael Jackson was charitable, but to carefully examine whether he truly 'saved the world', I found this look at his Heal the World charity interesting. Here's your chance to think for yourself.

Jackson Honoured at Awards Held in Austrian Nuclear Plant [AFP]

Is Michael Jackson's Charity a Fake? [uncivilsociety.org]

Photo credit: World Awards Media

VMAs Jump on the Brand Wagon -- Again!

2009-07-17T17:29:00.000-07:00

I'm almost positive that with Russell Brand hosting the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards again this year, I will never get to the front of the library loaner line for My Bookie Wook. I am currently number 14; because I find him particularly hilarious and to maintain some sense of relevancy, I'd like to read the book before the VMA's in September. Keep your fingers crossed.

MTV points out that Brand will be hosting for the second year in a row, which is somewhat of an anomaly for VMA hosts. In the same way that his hair is an anomaly to his head. While I do want to take MTV to task for using the words 'VMA' and 'elite' in the same title, and would also like to question whether 'multi-time' is an actual world, I can respect their decision to have Brand host for a second time.

Other notable repeat hosters include: Arsenio Hall (4 consecutive), Dennis Miller (2 consecutive) and Chris Rock (3).

Russell Brand Joins Elite League of Multi-Time VMA Hosts [MTV Newsroom]

Highlights from the BET Awards

2009-07-01T12:43:00.000-07:00

Not only did the BET Awards turn into a heartfelt tribute to the late Michael Jackson, it also created a lot of stir in the headlines for other reasons. Here's a recap:

Despite the climate of loss and remembrance brought on by MJ's recent death, BET producers made no plans to alter or remove Drake's womanizing performance of "Every Girl", which spiraled out of control when Lil' Wayne allowed his young daughter and her friends out onto the stage. I had planned on quoting a few lyrics, so you to get a feel for the inappropriateness of the situation. However, a mere glance caused me to be temporarily blinded. Not for the faint of heart that Lil' Wayne.

Access Hollywood had reported that Chris Brown would be taking part in the BET Awards tribute to Jackson, but the mysterious performance never materialized. What happened to Brown has been hotly debated, and his no show is likely linked to the infamous smack down he gave Rihanna following the Clive Davis 2009 Grammy pre-party. It's about time one or more hip-hop mogul stood up and indicated by their actions, that if you beget violence either on the street or in your home, we will not support you.

Drake Regrets Controversial BET Awards Set... [SOHH.com]

Chris Brown Tribute to Michael Jackson - LIVE BET Awards [industryfinest.com]

'Dark Knight' Never a Best Picture Contender

2009-06-26T15:28:00.000-07:00

I intended this blog post to be about how the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences decision to open the list of Best Picture nominees from a reasonable five to an unmaneageable 10 seems like an attempt to please everyone all of the time.

However, after reading quite a few articles on the change, and giggling at some of the comments posted in response to these articles, I've determined that there are quite a few bitter, bitter folks out there that feel like the Dark Knight was bamboozled out of its Oscar nomination.

And I happen to disagree.

The Dark Knight was good superhero movie. It had hear-stopping action and blinding explosions. It was dark and beautiful. It had one incredible, stand-out performance that brought attention to the picture and created the kind of buzz that turns a good film into a box office blockbuster. But it was never a contender for Best Picture. Even if there had been 10 slots in the Best Picture category, they would have been filled by:

Wall-E, or

The Wrestler, or

Rachel Getting Married, or

Tropic Thunder,

and a toss-up between Doubt and Vicky Cristina Barcelona. But never the Dark Knight. Sorry fanboys. Heath Ledger was incredible. He did things with the character that made a tired housewife, soccer mom, wine-drinker watch a superhero movie. But he did not turn a good action pic into a Best Picture nominee. Not even close.

Best Picture Change Triggers a Backlash [New York Times]

Oscars to Include 10 Best Picture Nominees [zap2it.com]

'Jon & Kate' Emmy Chances Sputtering

2009-06-25T08:21:00.000-07:00

Someone has finally put their foot down and said "no" to the sparing 'Jon & Kate'. And that someone is the television academy responsible for selecting nominees for the Primetime Emmy Awards. Jon and Kate wanted their show to be nominated in the nonfiction series category usually reserved for outstanding documentary style shows like Deadliest Catch.

Instead, they have submitted two of their Season 4 episodes for consideration in the more appropriate reality show category. Will TV academy voters tsk, tsk the pairs' behavior by again denying them a nomination? All I can say is go Kathy Griffin.

'Jon & Kate divorce hurts Emmy Awards hopes [The Envelope]

Oscar Predictions Minus the Movies

2009-06-23T07:11:00.001-07:00

With some heavy hitting directors up at bat, TheWrap takes its chances and announces potential contenders for this years' Oscar race. I suppose it's fun to take a stab at it, even if you find yourself flailing wildly with a rusted pocket knife, trying not to cut yourself shaving. Fine, fine. For not having seen the movies they seem to have a pretty good grasp on things.

I must admit, I am looking forward to quite a few of these films, and while I agree that having a director like Peter Jackson, Clint Eastwood or dare I say, James Cameron, at the helm pretty much guarantees you nominations at all the major awards shows. Let's just say, we remember Hook, Steven Spielberg. Yes, we do.

Here's my favorites:

SHUTTER ISLAND (Paramount, Oct. 2) I've been a fan of Dennis Lehane as a writer for quite some time, and I recently read his novel of the same name in anticipation of this release. After viewing the trailer, I'm not so sure this rendering is subtle enough for Oscar contention.

THE LOVELY BONES (Paramount/Dreamworks, Dec. 11) Its release date comes late in the season, but The Lovely Bones is my must-see movie of 2009. While it may seem a little too commercial for the Oscars, I look forward to enjoying the magnetism of Saoirse Ronan --both naive and diabolical as Briony Tallis in Atonement. Through his work on Heavenly Creatures, Peter Jackson has proven he has the dramatic chops, and restraint to compete at the Academy Awards.

UP (Disney/Pixar, May 29) Yes, I realize this movie does not fit into the yet-to-be-released-so-they-haven't-seen-it category, but it is a movie that I plan on seeing. That is, I haven't seen it yet. Don't judge. Since Beauty and the Beast in 1971, there hasn't been another animated film nominated. Not sure yet if UP can hold its own in the best picture category anyway.

Ahh. But it's all worth the wait!

TheWrap Predicts the Oscars -- and No, We Haven't seen the Movies [TheWrap]

Opposite-Sex Marriage and the Dove Awards

2009-04-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

The Christian right love her, the Miss USA judges hate her. And the rest of us took a full 26 minutes to figure out exactly what she was talking about. Miss California Carrie Prejean received a standing ovation as she was announced as a presenter at the 40th annual Gospel Music Association Dove Awards.

When asked to express her views on marriage during the interview portion of the Miss USA pageant, she responded:

“I think its great Americans are able to choose one way or another. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised, and that’s how I think it should be — between a man and a woman.”

Oookay. I'm not up on all the judging rules of the Miss USA pageant, but should she really be judged according to the content of her response vs. the eloquence of her response? I mean we, the general public can judge her all day long. I don't want my government monitoring the sex of my soulmate. But should the judges mark her down because they had a difference of opinion. What if a judge thinks all the world's children should starve to death and a Miss USA contestant expresses her desire to feed the children? What about that?

In related news, those in the audience that support Miss Prejean may also support torture.

Miss Calif. Gets Standing Ovation at Dove Awards [Christian Examiner]

'Shrek' Receives 12 Drama Desk Noms

2009-04-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

I was trying to think of another green character whose life story could potentially be turned into a musical, and all I could come up with is the Great Gazoo. And because he came along after The Flinstones jumped the shark, I'm not sure he will make the cut.

Remarkably, Shrek the Musical is a Broadway hit and has received the second highest number of nominations (12) for this years' Drama Desk Awards, including recognition in the Best Musical category. This despite all the burping and farting. This must be similar to my five year old burping the alphabet. Or twinkle, twinkle little star. While keeping company with a donkey? A national tour is planned for 2010.

2009-04-27T13:14:00.000-07:00

Although silence has been heard for the past seven months; no better way to breath new life into a thing then to start right here at home. In Minnesota. With the one thing I have kept a constant while movies and music have fallen to the wayside. This, despite the fact that Entertainment Weekly has taken their magazine book section and reduced it to barely a review. So relish in the revival. Sandie. The only one reading, I'm sure.

The 2009 Minnesota Book Awards, hosted by MPR's Tom Cann, was held in St. Paul a few nights ago while the world was oblivious. As was the majority of Minnesotans -- only 2,000 voters selected the nights reader's choice award, which went to The Latehomecomer: A Hmong Family Memoir by Kao Kalia Yang. This work of non-fiction that chronicles her family's story as they traveled from a Hmong refugee camp in Thailand to St. Paul, Minnesota, also won in the memoir/creative non-fiction story.

Another notable winner includes, The House in the Night by Susan Marie Swanson in the Children's Literature category. The tale progresses with a soothing, simple cadence and is enhanced by the unique look of the scratch board artwork illustrations. The Kay Sexton Award was given to Minnesota Historical Society's librarian, Patrick Coleman in recognition of 30 years of contributions to the literary community here in Minnesota.

While the book awards are all well and good, interestingly enough, the Minnesota Historical Society has just announced that due to lack of funding, they will cut book production and fire four staff members. Hopefully, winning the Kay Sexton Award will keep Patrick Coleman off the chopping block.

Hmong family memoir 'Latehomecomer' wins two Minnesota Book Awards; Erdrichs also honored [Pioneer Press]

'Dark Knight' Rerelease Could Result in Box Office and Oscar Gold

2008-09-12T12:03:00.000-07:00

With the Dark Knight, you can envision the Joker shooting golden statuettes from the depths of his sunken eyeballs directly at Batman's heart. And now, Warner Bros. will take its box office money maker straight to the Academy Awards Bank & Trust. Or more specifically, generate even more Batman fever, turning already stricken movie goers into Oscar induced zombies. What?

Let me explain: The Dark Knight will be re-released in January 2009. Which happens to be prime voting season for Academy Award voters, who will be feeling sentimental because January also happens to be a year to the month of the untimely demise of Heath Ledger, who happens to deliver a performance as the Joker, unmatched by any previous actor fulfilling the same role. If Warner Bros. is right (and they are), the buzz of Oscar season, combined with typically slow ticket sales in January may insure an unmatched box office and a posthumous Academy Award for Ledger.

"To date, Dark Knight has rung up about $512 million domestically and $440 million internationally," reports the Hollywood Reporter. This leaves the Dark Knight second only to the once unsinkable box office record of Titanic ($600.8 mil. domestic/$1.24 bil. international). While the Hollywood Reporter appears skeptical that the Dark Knight can surpass Titanic in worldwide ticket sales, I believe the re release will make for one close race. James Cameron better not hold his breath.

Dark Knight plan re release [The Hollywood Reporter]

Vote for Your Favorite Emmy Nominated Commercial

2008-07-17T15:47:00.000-07:00

Take a moment to watch these Emmy nominated commercials and tell me which is your favorite! If it were up to me, it would be any Geico commercial, unfortunately no nomination this time around.

Delivery - Travelers • •
MJZ, Production Company
Fallon, Ad Agency

Brother Of The Bride - Hallmark • •
PYTKA, Production Company
Leo Burnett, Ad Agency

Carrier Pigeons - FedEx • •
MJZ, Production Company
BBDO New York, Ad Agency

It’s Mine - Coca Cola • •
MJZ, Production Company
Wieden + Kennedy, Ad Agency

Swear Jar - Bud Light • •
Hungry Man, Production Company
DDB Chicago, Ad Agency

Oscar Potential No Joke For Ledger's Work

2008-07-14T11:41:00.000-07:00

Recognition by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences once you're dead is a rare occurrence. Ever since critics have gotten a glimpse of Heath Ledger's work as the Joker in The Dark Knight, the latest re imagining of the Batman saga, Oscar buzz has been in the air.

The last Oscar given posthumously was awarded to Peter Finch for his 1976 performance in Network. Finch also received an Academy Award nomination for one of the first films with a unabashedly gay theme, Sunday Bloody Sunday in 1971. The similarities between Finch and Ledger stop there.

One of the first critic's to champion the Heath Ledger Oscar cause was Rolling Stone magazine critic Peter Travers. As reported by US Magazine, Travers writes, "I can only speak superlatives of Ledger, who is mad-crazy-blazing-brilliant as the Joker."

I have to admit, I'm not a fan of the superhero genre of action film. And while I love to watch Jack Nicholson in most things, I had little interest in seeing him smeared with clown makeup playing opposite Batman.

As the trailers have graced my television, I have to admit I'm intrigued with this new caricature of the Joker. While I doubt I'll be racing out to the midnight screening on July 19, I plan on catching Ledger's eerily memorable performance. In time for the 81st Academy Awards!

Critic: Heath Ledger should win Oscar [USMagazine.com]

Winehouse Arrested Following Novello Nom

2008-04-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

When we last left Amy Winehouse, she was crawling under fences and being shot across the universe to appear via satellite at the 2008 Grammy Awards. Despite her struggles with addiction and her drug-induced performance at the MTV Europe Music Awards, Winehouse has shown moments of clarity as a songwriter. She'll be a triple threat at the 53rd Ivor Novello Awards with Love is a Losing Game, You Know I'm No Good and Rehab.

This years' Novello Awards nominations are not the first for Winehouse, as she has won twice before; in 2004 and 2007 Best Contemporary Song category for Stronger Than Me and Rehab respectively. Her success in the awards show arena, while bolstering her songwriting credibility, has done little to boost confidence in Winehouse's public persona and ability to kick her drug habit (not to mention incarcerated husband escape plan hatching)....

This just in....Pink is the New Blog is reporting (that People is reporting) that Amy Winehouse was arrested today. Weeeee! This is better than the rumored James Bond/Winehouse connection.

Amy Winehouse Up for Three Novello Awards [Telegraph]
Amy Winehouse Nominated for Three Ivor Novello Awards [Times Online]

Cricket Family Should Be Parent's Choice

2008-04-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

As a parent and literacy advocate, it's nice to see the Cricket Family of Magazines earn an incredible thirteen 2008 Parent's Choice Awards this year. No matter your child's age, you can rest assured that Cricket has the magazine that is specifically tailored to their age group and taste. Jason Patenaude, President of Cricket expresses these sentiments, "The scope of the awards also prove that Cricket magazines offer children more choices as they grow from toddler to young adults."

Not all children grow to become avid readers; finding material that will keep them reading and immersed in language throughout their childhood can often be a struggle for parents. If your child isn't necessarily interested in sitting down with a full-length book, a magazine might be the answer.

Along with Spider and Cricket, other 2008 Parent's Choice Gold Award winners include: Chirp published by Bayard Canada, National Geographic Little Kids published by National Geographic Society, Zoobooks published by Wildlife Education, Ltd., Ranger Rick published by the National Wildlife Federation, New Moon: The Magazine for Girls and Their Dreams published by New Moon Girl Media, Kiki published by B-books, Ltd., and Imagine published by John Hopkins University Center for Talented Youth.

Cricket Family of Magazines Wins Prestigious Parents' Choice Awards [PR Web]

Christmas Giveth, BAFTA Taketh Away

2008-04-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

The 2008 BAFTA Games Awards have been cancelled and this time, the writer's strike is not to blame. In fact, if you're looking for someone to blame -- and you always are -- blame Christmas.

Yes, my news saavy following, there was no writer's strike in the U.K., but there was and is Christmas. That blessed holiday of giving is now in the spirit of taking away, and it seems video gaming elves are too busy coding for the masses than for an awards nomination.

Susan Arendt with the Wired Blog Network clarifies, "Rather than wind up with a group of nominees that didn't truly represent the year's best in gaming, BAFTA decided the wise choice would be to simply cancel this year's awards, and try to schedule the 2009 awards at a more developer-friendly time of year."

If you're a gamer and find yourself at a loss as to what to do with the 2008 holiday season, now that the BAFTA Games Awards have been postponed, you might find yourself donating to charity. Put the give back in Christmas.

BAFTA Cancels 2008 Videogame Awards [Wired Blog Network]

'Once' Duo Make the Most of Oscar Performance

2008-03-01T11:04:00.000-08:00

Poor TV viewership (a measily 32 mil. pair of eyes) has permeated the headlines following the Feb. 24 telecast of the 80th Academy Awards, but apparently someone was watching as Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova performed the melodic "Falling Slowly" from the indie film Once.

Music publisher, Warner/Chappell Music (part of Warner Music Group Corp.), has scooped up the duo's catalog of work, including Hansard's songwriting efforts with the Frames, and music recorded for the pairs debut album, "The Swell Season"; the deal also includes all future recordings.

Tickets for The Swell Season: Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova, from the film Once at the Orpheum Theatre in Minneapolis, Minnesota and The Chicago Theatre in Chicago, Illinois go on sale today.

Warner label signs 'Once' duo [Variety]

'Juno' Wins Best Picture at Spirit Awards

2008-02-24T10:17:00.000-08:00

There once was a quirky little film, swaddled in orange stripes, that put an unexpected spin on teenage pregnancy. Somewhere in there, Juno had a message, but thanks to its screenwriter, Diablo Cody, the viewer felt neither tired by rhetoric nor battered about the head.

At the Independent Spirit Awards last night, Juno was a triple threat, earning top honors in the Best Picture category, recognition for Ellen Page as Best Female Lead and deserved Best First Screenplay win.

In addition to its critical acclaim, and despite a modest budget ($7 mil.), Juno has delivered at the box-office, bringing in over $160 mil. in ticket sales world-wide. The last time an indie film performed this well was back in 2002 when My Big Fat Greek Wedding generated $241.1 mil. in sales.

As much as I love the film, and admire Cody for doing what few novice writers are able these days (let alone female screenwriters), I'm not sure Juno will fair as well at the Academy Awards tonight. I do hope that hamburger phone makes an appearance, or maybe even announces an award or two.

'Juno' Scores at Spirit Awards [The Envelope]

What Could Be Better Than an Oscar Widget?

2008-02-19T17:14:00.001-08:00

I've noticed quite a bit of recent traffic on a previous post on Academy Award trivia, so in light of new widget-ry technology, I've added this post for all to enjoy. Now slide your gaze to the right a smidge and vote for the most likely Best Picture winner.

The Oscars Valentine Gift to the Masses

2008-02-13T08:40:00.000-08:00

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' hearts are filled with love on this, the eve of Valentine's Day. Academy president, Sid Ganis issued this statement today via press release and announced a press conference scheduled for tomorrow that will reveal "many, many details" about the Oscar telecast.

"I am relieved that the men and women of the entertainment industry are going back to work and I am ecstatic that the 80th Academy Awards presentation can now proceed full steam ahead with talented writers working on the show, a fantastic array of presenters and performers and, most importantly, the ability for all of our honored nominees to attend without hesitation or discomfort."

Despite the news that the Oscars will go on, the New York Post reports, Vanity Fair and their big smashing party has been cancelled. This announcement was made prior to the end of the writer's strike, and it's doubtful they can turn that hulking ship around. It is thee party of the night. The injustice is almost more then I can bear. Or is it bare? Let's hope this is clarified for me during the press conference tomorrow morning at Academy headquarters.

For all you future Oscar winners; the Governor's Ball Party is still on. Defamer tackled Wolfgang Puck's menu with more wit then I could muster at this late juncture. Now that the writer's are back on, my formerly hysterical and carefully plotted blog will have all new ~~episodes~~ posts within eight to ten weeks.

Awww.... I kid, I kid.

Screw You, 'Vanity Fair' Party: The Oscars Governor's Ball is On and More Delicious Than Ever [Defamer]

World Stupidity at a Glance

2008-01-24T08:39:00.000-08:00

I've been monitoring the status of the 5th Annual World Stupidity Awards closely, but apparently not close enough, as they've up and redone their website and made their nominations and awarded the winners. Right under our imbecilic noses.

Awards shows were well represented in several categories, with the surprise inverted-reality-TV-suplex-slam administered by Danny Bonaduce on Jonny Fairplay taking Dumbest Moment of the Year. Britney Spears rightfully reigned supreme in the Stupidity Award for Making a Stupid Situation Stupider for her performance (or lack thereof) at the MTV Music Video Awards.

Miss South Carolina, who's response to a question about the inability of Americans to located the United States on a world map, earned her the crown of Stupidest Statement of the Year and settled the beauty over brains pageant debate once and for all. Let's hope the same 20% of Americans have more success finding YouTube and the video of Miss Lauren Caitlin Upton, as I'm not about to relive this nightmare.

And finally, the Television Industry in its entirety was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award for Stupidity. Now that's a whole lotta stupid.

Just one minor complaint, the name of the game at the Stupidity Awards, is stupidity on a global scale. However, the U.S. dominated every category. We took home every top prize and I'm. Not. Bragging. World Stupidity Awards my ass. Call a spade, a spade you morons. Or maybe we're just that good.

5th Annual World Stupidity Awards [press release]

Today the Razzies, Tomorrow the Oscars

2008-01-21T11:15:00.000-08:00

First comes the Razzies then comes the Oscars, then comes Eddie and Lindsey in a baby carriage. Suckin' their thumb.......sing along on your own time.

If you're Eddie Murphy, ya have to take the bad with the good. Oscar nom one year, Norbit the next. Oh so far to fall. If you're Lindsey Lohan, you were barely able to get one foot out of the gutter and up on the curb before ya slip on the slimy shit of your own making back to your rightful place. Harsh, I know, but I've gotten myself off on a tangent.

Officially known as the Golden Rasberry Awards, the Razzies have faithfully heralded the short-comings of Hollywood's elite. Previous winners include, Ben Affleck, Jack Nicholson, Christopher Walken and aptly named Halle Berry.

Murphy is nominated multiple times for each of his equally horrendous roles in Norbit. Founder of the Razzies, John Wilson, told CNN, "We decided that each of his characters were so offensive that he deserved individual nominations."

Sharon Stone is in direct competition with Lohan in the worst actress category for her role in worst film contender Basic Instinct 2. This is not the first time Stone has been nominated, winning two Razzies in 1994 for The Specialist and Intersection. Wilson gave FoxNews this yummy morsel, "She's what we call a Razzie repeat offender. Perhaps even a recidivist." If you don't recall either of these two flicks, count your lucky stars.

By the way, Rachel McAdams was the real break-out star of Mean Girls.

Lohan, Murphy Lead Razzies for Year's Worst [CNN]

Sharon Stone, Duff Sisters, Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan Nominated for Razzies [FoxNews]

Atonement Leads the Baftas With 14 Nominations

2008-01-19T22:20:00.000-08:00

With a nomination in nearly every category in which it is eligible, Atonement is the front-runner at the British Academy Awards this year. Both Keira Knightley and James McAvoy were recognized in the Leading Actor and Actress category, and director Joe Wright is also nominated.

As reported by The Herald, Keira Knightley expressed her delight by saying, "The Golden Globe was extraordinary, but to be recognised at home is really special, I'm thrilled." Also sharing the nomination spotlight is Christopher Hampton, who adapted Ian McEwan's novel with storytelling precision.

In 2002, BAFTA moved is announcements and ceremony from April or May to fall just before the Oscars, in order to benefit from awards show fever in the U.S. People Magazine makes mention of this clandestined turn of events and how the schedule change could position the Orange British Academy Film Awards to be one of the only awards shows with celebrities present.

Keira Knightley's Atonement Leads BAFTA Nominations [People Magazine]

Atonement Wins 14 BAFTA Award Nominations [The Herald]

WGA Awards a Bust in LA, Mini-Me in NYC

2008-01-19T12:55:00.000-08:00

Even the Writers Guild of America plan a dumbed-down version of their annual awards presentation on February 9, as a result of the writers strike, according to a press release. The WGA Awards recognize writing in television, film, radio and video games. Only this years' nominees and their guests will be permitted to attend the ceremony and like the Golden Globes, there will be no red carpet.

WGA East president, Michael Winship hinted at the real reason behind shrinking the event to a mere reception when he stated, "It is very, very cold in New York City this time of year. Very cold."

Okay fine, he didn't say that. Winship did say, "We have chosen to honor the nominees and recipients of our awards in the context of our ongoing strike against the studios and networks. This will be a simple event that will rally us together as a union." The WGA West out of Los Angeles has decided to forgo an award ceremony altogether.

A few notables from the list of WGA Awards nominees include:

Knocked Up by Judd Apatow in the Best Original Screenplay category. While Knocked Up has received only a smattering of awards recognition (not unusual for a comedy), it has not been selected in any screenplay category thus far. Ryan Seacrest was given a Teen Choice Award for his portrayal of a Hissy Fit. Not sure if this is really a stretch for Seacrest, but who am I to judge?

For someone who has been nominated for and won a whole slew of awards, it's nice to see Sean Penn nominated for Into the Wild in the Best Adapted Screenplay category. Penn's ability to wrap his mind around a character as an actor is well-suited for this film with such focused intensity on the main character, Chris McCandless' perspective. You can read an insightful interview from the December 2007 issue of Written By, trade magazine for members of the WGA West.

Mad Men (AMC) has been enjoying lots of buzz this awards season and deservedly so. This smart, cocksure and deliberate circa 1960s Dramatic Television Series and New Series nominee is almost solely dependent on its writing. Now, this is not meant to diminish the talents of the actors (mesmerizing performances, but very subtle!) or the hazy cinematography that has the audience hanging back as if a fly on the wall or shot tight up enhancing the tension naturally. Writing credits go to a parade of names, but the one that stands out is Matthew Weiner who competes with himself in the same category for The Sopranos. Indeed! While the first season has ended, you can catch the replay beginning Monday, January 21.

The entire list of WGA Awards nominees can be found here.

WGA Awards to Hold Small NYC Ceremony [AP]

Outtakes from Into the Wild Mind of Sean Penn [Written By]

The Golden Globes: Brilliant but Cancelled...

2008-01-14T15:00:00.000-08:00

...not brilliant despite being cancelled, as we had to endure a Solid Gold set and commentary by Billy Bush (cuz to thee prez) and Nancy O'Dell. Honestly, I watched for approximately three minutes and pulled a writers strike of my own. I love the Golden Globes, but could not bear to see them go down this way. I hate to say it, and I never thought I'd bear witness in my lifetime, but the Golden Globes have "jumped the shark." And although, as I've said, I did not bare witness (and actually went to bed with a giant Golden Globe sized headache), I've read that some of the other networks announced all the winners as NBC slogged on through to the bitter end. Ha!

For those of you who did not watch (everyone) here's the run down:

Best Motion Picture - Drama

Atonement

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Julie Christie - Away From Her

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

Daniel Day Lewis - There Will Be Blood

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Marion Cotillard - La Vie En Rose

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Javier Bardem - No Country For Old Men

Best Animated Feature Film

Ratatouille

Best Foreign Language Film

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Best Director - Motion Picture

Julian Schnabel - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

No Country For Old Men - Ethan and Joel Coen

Best Original Score - Motion Picture

Atonement - composed by Dario Marianelli

Best Original Song - Motion Picture

"Guaranteed" - Into the Wild (music & lyrics by Eddie Vedder)

Best Television Series - Drama

Mad Men

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama

Glenn Close - Damages

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama

Jon Hamm - Mad Men

Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Extras

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Tina Fey - 30 Rock

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy

David Duchovny - Californication

To view the rest of the list and the competition visit the Hollywood Foreign Press Association website.

Globes, Oscars Feel the Wrath of the WGA

2007-12-29T12:18:00.000-08:00

The looming question as to whether the writer's strike will effect awards show programming has been answered. It all began with a tiny snowflake that has slowly, slowly tumbled down the Hollywood Hills resulting in a giant snowball that threatens to push the Academy Awards back into the spring, and perhaps derail the Golden Globes all together.

Initially, the WGA denied a request from the Hollywood Foreign Press (Golden Globes) to use union writers for scripted portions of the show and the Academy of Motion Picture and Sciences was denied the ability to use previous awards show footage, reports Deadline Hollywood Daily.

Hollywood Today indicates that the Screen Actors Guild has been encouraging its members to boycott major awards shows like the Golden Globes and the Academy Awards. This includes targeting awards nominees themselves, which could mean that no big stars will grace the red carpet or be around to make acceptance speeches. The guild defends it stance by stating, "We will continue to do everything in our power to bring industry negotiations to a fair conclusion. In the meantime, we are grateful for the ongoing support of the Hollywood talent community."

In a later report, Hollywood Today put a number on the face of those actors that will not cross the picket line in support of their own work at the upcoming Golden Globes. That number is astonishing in it's solidarity; seventy actors refuse to participate in the show. Now seventy may not seem like a lot, but it represents every last nominated actor. Every single one. I think the Golden Globes are in trouble.

No WGA Waivers for Globes or Oscars (and Other News From Tonights Meeting) [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

Final: No Stars for Golden Globes as Striking Writers, Actors Say No Telecast and Globes: 70 Stars Say We Won't Go [Hollywood Today]

SAG Adds Stunts to its Nominee Roster

2007-12-22T10:53:00.000-08:00

After recently viewing the bonus features on The Kingdom DVD, it was clear to me why SAG decided to recognize exceptional stunt work in film and television. The film is more CSI: Saudi Arabia than a commentary about the devastation of war.

Director, Peter Berg (adorable as Dexter Rutecki in Aspen Extreme), choreographs a heart-stopping car chase that propels the story forward just when you thought it was winding down. The talent of the stunt crew is evident when you learn that much of The Kingdom was filmed using hand held cameras. It really is a credit to the Screen Actors Guild to ask the actors that work with these stunt ensembles to select a movie or TV series that otherwise may not get recognized in an already established category. Good thinkin' SAG!

The Bourne Ultimatum, I Am Legend, 300 and The Pirates if the Caribbean: At World's End were nominated alongside The Kingdom in the categories of Outstanding Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Television Series. Heroes, 24, Lost, Rome and The Unit received nominations for Outstanding Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Motion Picture.

The stunt winners will be presented with their awards on the red carpet just prior to the show on January 27, 2008 as part of a pre-show web cast on TNT.com and TBS.com.

Check for a full listing of the SAG Awards nominations on their website.

Globe Nominations Leave Oscar Race More Uncertain

2007-12-13T08:05:00.000-08:00

After months of speculation, the announcement of the 65th annual Golden Globe nominations this morning has left one thing clear, Atonement, is a bonafide front runner and Oscar contender. The film, based on the novel by Ian McEwan, received seven nominations including Best Motion Picture - Drama and actress and actor nods for Keira Knightley and James McAvoy. The uncertainty presents itself when we examine what films were missed for Golden Globe recognition.

Into the Wild was completely overlooked in all categories except Best Original Score and Best Original Song. Whether this quashes any hope for Academy Award nomination or actually opens the film up for Oscar contention is yet to be seen. The same theory may also hold true for other overlooked movies such as Knocked Up and Waitress. Who needs a golden globe when you can have a golden man?

Another interesting snub comes in the form of Homer Simpson. As a longstanding television show (having stood the longest throughout prime time series history), The Simpsons have never been nominated for a Golden Globe in any television category, ever. Despite being entwined in superlative hell, The Simpsons Movie captured the hearts and minds of the Hollywood Foreign Press voters and snagged a nomination over weaker competition (read Alvin and the Chipmunks and Meet the Robinsons). Improvement is still needed in the realm of motion capture when what should be a visually stunning film like Beowolf fails to impress against more traditional animation. As for Shrek the Third, three times just wasn't a charm.

The 80th Annual Academy Award nominations will be revealed on January 22, 2008. Let's hold any unfounded speculation until that time.

Send Your Best Poetry To Writer's Digest

2007-12-12T06:49:00.000-08:00

The Writer's Digest writing competitions run fast and furious nearly all year long, however, this one offers an opportunity for poets alone and it's the only one of its kind. Submit your poetry by the Dec. 20th deadline, and keep it under 32 lines. The entry fee is $10 and the first place prize is $500. First through tenth place will also be published in the August 2008 issue of Writer's Digest. For more info on how you can receive recognition for the poet within, visit their website!

Can Awards Success Equal Superstar Status?

2007-12-11T08:42:00.000-08:00

Writer Stefania Marghitu, over at the Indiana Daily Student (idsnews.com) brings up a valid point. Do the big time awards shows and the accolades we bestow upon actors, directors and musicians really make a difference throughout the life of their career?

Marghitu takes the position that these awards don't matter, and in the grand scheme of things they probably don't.....much. But in the wide world of entertainment, they do mean a heck of a lot more than Marghitu lets on.

Take Lily Allen for instance. She has released one album, Alright, Still (2006 in the U.K. and 2007 in the U.S.). This album earned Allen a BRIT Awards nomination, was certified triple-platinum on the U.K. charts and gold in the U.S. These are significant achievements in the music industry and with no sophmoric release to date we can hardly name Allen a falling star. In fact, she was recently nominated for a 2008 Grammy Award in the Best Alternative Music category, which she may even stand a good chance of winning (up against Bjork, The White Stripes, The Shins and Arcade Fire).

Another alleged victim of the awards show "curse" as described by Marghitu is Cuba Gooding Jr. In 1997 he was nominated and won the Academy Award for his supporting actor role as Rod Tidwell in Jerry McGuire. Since that time, various movies in which he held roles have gone on to exceptional box office success (which translates to marketability), including Pearl Harbor (over $198 mil.), As Good As it Gets (over $148 mil.) and critically acclaimed American Gangster ($46.3 mil in the first three days).

Because I have a blog which is entirely based on awards and awards shows, I may be a little biased as to whether or not they play a part in launching an artist into the stratosphere. I'd like to think that people tend to take notice when a performer puts on a kick-ass show on the CMA's or the Grammy's. Or, we're more likely to see a film that Felicity Huffman stars in because she won an Emmy for a role she played on TV.

Awards, schmawards [idsnews.com]

2007 Awards Season to Remember

2007-12-10T12:18:00.000-08:00

The awards show season is in full swing, but 2007 is nearly over. I look to you, loyal readers to help remind me of some of your favorite/controversial/awkward/laughable awards show moments of this past year.

Britney horrified at the MTV Music Awards. Sarah Silverman skewered Paris Hilton during the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. The Dixie Chicks won big at the 49th Annual Grammy Awards despite coming under fire for previous anti-Bush comments, and Isaiah Washington made a few questionable comments of his own backstage at the Golden Globes.

Let me know which juicy-juicy contusions you'd like to relive for the 2007 Self-Injurious Awards Season Moments.

Will Winehouse Make it to the Grammy's?

2007-12-06T16:09:00.000-08:00

Or, as an alternate blog heading....Why on Earth Was Winehouse Nominated Even Once, Let Alone Many, Many Times.

My conclusion: the Recording Academy does not read or watch TMZ.

If they did, it would be clear that the prospect of Amy Winehouse winning any of the six 2008 Grammy's for which she is now nominated, will cause more gastro-intestinal malaise than actually watching her perform on the show. If she shows up that is (her rep told People.com that she "is determined to be ready and well for that performance"). The singer is in rough shape. She flubbed a recent performance at the MTV Europe Awards and she's reportedly in rehab after clearing her calendar for 2007.

There she is, trying to break-out her imprisoned boyfriend, Blake Fielder-Civil so they can attend the 50th Annual Grammy Awards in February 2008 together. Thanks, TMZ.

Other notable Grammy hopefuls include Kanye West with eight noms, Bruce Springsteen with four nominations, although not for album of the year!, and Carrie Underwood with two nominations.

American Idol or AMA's? You Decide.

2007-11-19T11:17:00.000-08:00

I have to admit, I rather enjoyed the American Music Awards show last night. Maybe even a little bit more than the CMA's a couple of weeks ago. I guess I like my T-Pain mixed with a sprinklin' of Sugarland, not to mention the giant elephant in the room, which no one seemed to mention. Or acknowledge. Or recognize. Or thank in any way.

I'll mention it now. The AMA's are now known as the American Idol Music Awards. Heh.

It went something like this:

Within the first twenty minutes, AI alum took over the show. There was Kellie Pickler and Jordin Sparks dancin' all Soulja Boy with Jimmy Kimmel. Didn't Pickler look cute and all confused? Then Carrie Underwood won her first of three awards of the night including, Favorite Country Female Artist, Favorite Country Album and the fan favorite text-in and vote category sponsored by T-Mobile. Then Underwood presented the award for Favorite Breakthrough Artist to Daughtry headed by frontman, Chris Daughtry a former American Idol-er. Then Seacrest showed up sans frosted tips and yammered on about I can't remember.

Breathe.

Then Daughtry won two more awards and thanked the fans a million times. But not American Idol, which brought the fans in the first place. Then Fantasia was nominated for Favorite Female Soul/R&B but lost to Rihanna. In order to punctuate continued AI dominance, Daughtry performed an acoustic version of Home, with AMA awards as home decor.

Finally, the Dreamgirls soundtrack was nominated for Favorite Soundtrack and as you know, American Idol finalist Jennifer Hudson is a dreamgirl. So there's that.

By the way, where was Zac Efron and were the Jonas Brothers' stage rush by two girls escorted off by security at the end of S.O.S. planned or did the teeny-boppers just want to stop the so-pitch-y-you-can't-sing singing?

Personally, I loved the performance of Kiss Kiss by Chris Brown, T-Pain and the reflective-tape dancers. The three man upside-down marionette ending was funky and fresh. Check out the video, although it doesn't do the performance justice with all the flash bulbs poppin' off. Word.

Chris Brown - Kiss Kiss live @ AMAs 2007
Uploaded by geronimos87

Watch the Eagles Tonight on CMA Awards

2007-11-07T11:55:00.000-08:00

As if to fly directly in the face of my previous post in which I declared the same-old, same-old from the CMA Awards lineup and nominees, the Eagles will perform tonight (Nov. 7) for the first time ever. Ever. Ever, ever.

Except in 1993 when Don Henley flew solo, and performed the duet Walk Away Joe with Trisha Yearwood during the show. The hit single from Yearwood's first album was nominated as 1992 CMA's Vocal Event of the Year. In 1994, they won Album of the Year for the collaboration Common Thread: The Songs of the Eagles with CMA heavy hitters including Alan Jackson and Brooks & Dunn. The performance tonight will likely showcase their current country music hit single How Long.

The Eagles have long been considered a significant influence on the flavor of country music, and their current success on the charts with "Long Road Out of Eden," proves they continue to have a strong following. Despite the lack of a studio release for nearly 30 years, the Eagles' album beat out "Blackout", the album from pop princess of questionable sanity, Britney Spears and took the top spot on the Billboard 200.

So, maybe I was wrong, or spoke to soon. Tonight just might remain Country Music's Biggest Night.

Eagles Fly Past Britney to Debut at No. 1 [Billboard.com]

The Eagles to Perform on CMA Awards [USA Today]

Eagles Ready for CMA Awards Debut [CMT.com]

Does Burton + Depp = Oscar for 'Sweeney Todd'?

2007-10-07T11:41:00.000-07:00

When Tim Burton and Johnny Depp collaborate on a film, the result is often bizarre, ecclectic and surging with ghoulish delight. Together, the pair create one of the award-winningest super-threats of any actor/director team; theirs is a style that is incredibly well-suited. And the Oscar buzz has officially begun for Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Now, I've seen the trailer for Sweeney Todd both online and in the theaters and it plays delightfully creepy on the big screen. The tension builds, and as Burton does so well, the color and saturation gets darker as the film progresses. Camera work becomes more erratic as the pace quickens and then ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (protracted high-pitched scream) Depp begins to sing. Okay. In the trailer he actually doesn't sound half bad. Maybe even fairly decent singing. But will this risk -- a singing Johnny Depp -- keep people away or attract them like voyeurs to a freak in a side-show.

Elevate Your Rockstar Standing With Grammy Brand

2007-10-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

Lyrics to the song "Rockstar", by Nickelback address the universal dream of livin' large as a world famous musician and all the perks that go along with it. One way to indulge your success in this role as musical icon is to "dress your ass with the latest fashion/get a front door key to the playboy mansion", and you have to admit, the idea seems rather appealing.

Well, now the Recording Academy has made rockstar chic easier to achieve than ever, announcing Grammy Brand a new fashion line to be unveiled next week at a private party. Private, meaning you're not invited. And it doesn't help you obtain Hef's master key either. So much for easy.

The high-end designer clothing is unfortunately, only affordable if you've already reached rockstar status, and so hopes are dashed anew. Perhaps you can pool your personal life savings with that of your friends and purchase a pair of sunglasses. Sigh.

What good is it you ask? It seems, a "meaningful portion of every Grammy Brand sale" goes to MusicCares and the Grammy Foundation. Noble causes, both.

Recording Academy Unveils Grammy Brand [AP]

2007 Weblog Awards: Nominate the Best

2007-10-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Although a little slow out of the gate, the time is now to nominate the bloggiest of blogs in the blogosphere in any of the 49 categories, such as Best Blog, Best Online Community, and Best Music Blog. Nominations for the 2007 Weblog Awards are being taken until October 15, 2007 and any website that qualifies as a blog can be nominated. You can even nominate yourself, because one's own blog is always the best!

Several new categories have been added this year including Best Celebrity Blog, Best Pet Blog and Best Literature Blog. Rosie O'Donnell's blog, Bazzyboy the Australian Racehorse, and the Stay At Home Bookworm are early nominees in each of these categories respectively.

But the fun doesn't stop there. Once finalists are selected and voted on, winners will be presented with their awards at BlogWorld & New Media Expo held November 8-9 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Whooo, hoo!

Celebrity Smackdown: Bonaduce vs. Fairplay

2007-10-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought it was safe to hug Danny Bonaduce, it wasn't. During last night's Reality Remix Really Awards, overzealous Bonaduce fan, Survivor's very own Jonny Fairplay, attempted the well-known "flying embrace" and was swatted face first to the ground, TMZ reports. Ouch.

What was unclear, however, was how Bonaduce could have felt threatened by an armful of Fairplay. As the pic below illustrates, Jonny Fairplay weighs a mere five lbs. soaking wet. The fear of being pooped on might have thrown Bonaduce over the edge, and removing Fairplay's bum from his person became an urgent priority.

While it may serve as a nominal distraction to continue this speculation of Bonaduce's motives, again, TMZ comes to the rescue and clarifies. Adrienne Curry started this whole mess by encouraging Bonaduce to get up on stage and inform Fairplay of his douche-bag status.

Curry, a reality tv whore monger herself (winner of America's Next Top Model) brags about the incident on her blog.

The 2nd Annual Reality Remix Really Awards show will air on October 13, 2007, but I bet heavy editing of the smackdown will deprive us all of this memorable 2007 awards show event.

UPDATE: Inside Edition has exclusive video of the onstage heave-ho, which aired on tonight's episode. I suspect it will be posted here, but at the time of this update, the video link was not yet active.

2007 CMAs Recycle 2006 Nominees/Performers

2007-09-24T11:59:00.000-07:00

Additional performers were announced today for the 41st Annual Country Music Association Awards, and the line up is lookin' oh! sooo 2006. Not to mention, the nominees in every category are nearly identical. Some may have moved around a bit, but the artists' names remain the same. Once known as the "Biggest Night in Country Music", has seemingly adopted a new motto. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

Even Little Big Town makes a repeat appearance in the Horizon Award category. Apparently there was a shortage of up-and-coming country music artists, so they needed to give the four-person vocal group another shot at being awarded for their up-and-coming-ness. Does that really make sense? No. It's wordy and long-winded, and doesn't make any kind of sense at all. What about Bucky Covington? I don't mean to go all American Idol on you, but his single, "A Different World", made it to the top of the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart and was played endlessly on country music radio.

In the Entertainer of the Year category, George Strait replaced Brooks & Dunn, while every other nominee remained the same from last year. Call me crazy, but I feel as though I was entertained by more than just country music men this year. If the broadcast plans on staying on top of its game, and the ratings (it remains one of the most successful awards show programming, consistently winning its time-slot), then it had better have a few tricks up its sleeve.

'World Stupidity Awards' Defunct?

2007-09-23T15:44:00.000-07:00

Fall may well be known as the season for stupidity. The ailing elderly create cardio-infarction by raking endless piles of leaves. Parents are expected to fork over astronomical amounts for school supplies and mediocre blue background Lifetouch photos with their children's hair combed within an inch of its life. And football mad-foolery begins in earnest.

Since 2003, however, autumn was also the season of The World Stupidity Awards or "Oscars of Idiocy" as they have been lovingly referred. To my dismay, nary a snark has been heard all summer about potential nominees or category changes. And I'm beginning to worry.

But the giant gaping hole of disinformation will soon be filled, as I have but one of my best sleuths on the case (me) and am awaiting a response to my requests from one of their "spokesmorons" (their word, not mine). Once I learn the fate of this most fabulous tradition of stupid-ness, I will share with you, beloved, dedicated reader. These things usually end well.

UPDATE 12/14/2007: I had almost given up hope of receiving a response to my request for more information re: the World Stupidity Awards, but low-and-behold my inbox did not disappoint this morning. Albert Nerenberg, spokesmoron, had the following to say about the whereabouts of the favorite "Oscars of Idiocy".

"Thank you for your concerned comments about the World Stupidity Awards. Although the awards have had some perilous days, they will be announced right before Christmas. Basically, the comedy festival which supported the awards, couldn't afford to stage them despite the fact they sell out every year, and told us to go and get a TV deal. That's what were working on now but it's slow progress. Needless to say, we'll be announcing an online version at Christmas and hope to have a televised version sometime in the future."

I will post more information as I receive it. And if you're some big-time TV exec who'd like to put the show on the air, and you're reading this, then have your people contact Albert's people and set this thing up. Or let's do lunch!

'Talladega Nights' beats out 'We Are Marshall' at ESPY Awards

2007-07-14T15:52:00.000-07:00

With record fan voting to the tune of 12.5 million votes cast, the ESPY Awards captures the heart and soul of our professional sports obsession. To prove how intricately entwined pop culture is with sports today (on again/off again Carrie Underwood and Tony Romo notwithstanding), the nutty sports movie satire Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby won the ESPY for Best Sports Movie over We Are Marshall reports the Harold-Dispatch.com.

Marshall is based on the true story of triumph over tragedy as Marshall University's football team recovers from a plane crash that killed the majority of it's players. Also nominated in this category was Invincible and Pride, neither of which had an angel's shot in hell against Talladega.

Had Talladega Nights gone up against previous years' winners such as Friday Night Lights or Miracle would it have won? Come on now all you crazy online voters, you would have chosen Will Ferrell over Miracle?? Oh, lord help us all.

The ESPY Awards were held on June 10 and will air tonight on ESPN.

We Are Marshall misses out on ESPY [Harold-Dispatch.com]

Celebrities Line Up For 'MTV Movie Awards'

2007-05-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

Things are heating up as MTV announces presenters and performers for the 2007 MTV Movie Awards to be held June 3. We've already been jolted to attention with revelation the dirty, dirty comedienne Sarah Silverman will host the live broadcast and hopefully produce loads of censor-worthy material to keep the bleeper patrol on their toes.

Following her stop at Ellis Island, newly immigrated Victoria Beckham will make an appearance, as well as former host and Golden Popcorn recipient, Lindsay Lohan. Unfortunately, Lohan remains a U.S. resident.

Robin Williams will be presenting an award, in what the press release has touted as some sort of joke-off with Silverman. Despite the creep factor generated ever since Williams' portrayal of an obsessed photo mart clerk stalking the all American family in the film One Hour Photo, his manic delivery and penchant for X-rated material may leave him the hands down winner of the evening.

As we wade through the list of celebrities on board to pimp their summer movie releases, including Shia LaBeouf (Transformers) and Katherine Heigl (Knocked Up), the relevance of the award show at hand seems nonexistent. The majority of the nominated films have long been out of the theater

On the other hand, with the mockucategory of "Best Summer Movie You Haven't Seen Yet", those of us movie buffs who invest hours of our time on awards show programming (guilty!) that dole out awards for movies the general public hasn't yet been privy to, sometimes I think the execs at MTV hit the nail on the head. Even if that nail is coffin bound.

2007 Student Academy Awards

2007-05-19T16:34:00.000-07:00

The finalists for the 2007 Student Academy Awards were announced on May 14, with hopefuls vying for medals of the Gold, Silver or Bronze Olympic variety, as well as cash prizes and a week-long introduction to the industry.

While the winners have now been selected, voted on by Academy members, they have not been told which medal they have actually won. This will be revealed during the June 9 ceremony held at the Academy's Samuel Goldwyn Theater. Gold medalist and Honorary Foreign Film winners are granted a full-length screening of their film following the ceremony.

Besides allowing Academy voters the opportunity to practice on unsuspecting college and graduate level students, the Student Academy Awards have identified some of the most creative minds in filmmaking. The list of innovative and successful filmmakers include Spike Lee, Trey Parker and Robert Zemeckis. The Academy website reports that Student Academy Award winners have been nominated for an Oscar a remarkable 35 times, with a total of seven Oscar wins either as an individual or as part of a group nomination.

Aspiring collegiate filmmakers should make the Student Academy Awards a must-do on their contest/fellowship submission list.

Academy Announces 2007 Student Academy Award Winners [Academy press release]

MTV VMAs to Take Over Vegas

2007-05-02T11:25:00.000-07:00

Despite the statistical probability of actually viewing a music video on MTV akin to that of a Sasquatch siting in the forests of North America, it has been announced that the MTV Music Video Awards will continue to perpetuate the widely held myth by holding it's annual ode to all things "music video" in Las Vegas. Oh, how I'd like to see the odds for catching a glimpse of Sasquatch vs. a music video on MTV. Me thinks, too close to call.

In an effort to lure an ostentatious list of previously uninterested celebs, Christina Norman, MTV President, announced plans for the VMA's "to take over every available nook and cranny of the infamous celebrity stomping ground, The Palms Casino Resort," according to an MTV press release.

It appears, owner of the trendy hot-spot, George Maloof was not informed of the intimate invasion, as he states, "the opportunity to showcase The Pearl Concert Theater as the venue for the awards show is extremely exciting." Someone needs to let him know what exactly will be happening to his nooks and crannies before its too late. I'm also happy to announce that I will be in Vegas well before this year's "nothing will be off limits" approach, and I feel cleaner for it.

For those of you who enjoy watching the re-broadcast of the VMA's seven times a day for months on end, you will be disappointed to know that with the change of venue comes a change in playback. For instance, there will be no more playback.

Per se.

The show is to air during a single live broadcast. The twist is that as MTV strives for more and more viewer interaction, they will somehow (likely some new fandangled technology) allow viewers to program remixed versions of the show. Excuse me...MTV...I'd like to order the Blake Lewis beat-boxed version of the VMA's, please.

We will soon find out what, if anything, Christina Norman knows about "rock 'n roll chaos". Her words, not mine.

2007 MTV Video Music Awards Sets Up Next Act in Las Vegas [PRNewswire]
MTV Has VMAs on Lockdown [TMZ]

Rosie O'Donnell, You're Fired!

2007-05-01T16:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, maybe not fired, but the Trumpness of the headline was too good to pass up. It's been reported by the AP via Yahoo! News that O'Donnell and ABC were unable to meet in the middle during contract negotiations. But it's been rumored that Barbra Walters may have had enough of all the controversy and generally belligerent, un-ladylike behavior displayed by O'Donnell over the last year.

While Walters has denied that she has anything to do with her exit from The View, Rosie's scatalogical rant at the Women in Communications awards luncheon in the presence of impressionable young, teenage women awaiting recognition may have thrown Barbara over the edge. The fact that Walters considers herself an aboveboard, professional journalist lends an air of truth to the rumor. The fact that the rumor is being "trumpeted" by the duck-man himself, sucks its legitimacy below sea level.

Whether there is some truth to the claims or not, the real question is who is ano appropriate replacement as co-host and still be as big an audience draw for ABC?

Will Rosie's Vulgar Act at Teen Award Show Boot Her from 'View?' [NewsBusters]
Rosie O'Donnell leaving ABC's 'The View' [Yahoo! News]

Would You Know A Drama Desk If You Saw One?

2007-04-30T05:26:00.000-07:00

Kristin Chenoweth, a 2007 Razzie Award nominee, will be hosting the Drama Desk Awards on May 20. If you find it unusual that you've never heard of an awards show that is now in its 52nd installment, you are not alone. Let's explore together.

The Drama Desk Awards were created to counteract the Tony Awards, which bestow recognition on Broadway productions only. Off-Broadway and off-off Broadway productions are eligible for a Drama Desk nomination, but not for a Tony. I can feel the learning happening. If you were taking the SAT, it would look something like this:

Drama Desk Award :: Tony Award as Independent Spirit Award :: ____________?

If you said Academy Award, congrats! If you said something else, then you probably went to a State University and now work at a job you despise. It's not my fault.

While you may not have heard of the Drama Desk awards, you will be familiar with nominations for some of your favorite (and notable) movie and television stars. Ever wonder what Sandra Oh of Grey's Anatomy does when she's not sewing up bodies? Or ponder the whereabouts of David Hyde Pierce since Frasier wrapped up three years ago? Why they're flexing their acting chops and wishing for a win at the Drama Desk Awards, that's what.

2007 Drama Desk Nominees Announced, LoveMusik Leads Pack [Broadway World]

Silverman at the Helm of 'MTV Movie Awards'

2007-04-28T07:31:00.000-07:00

Sarah Silverman, comedienne du jour, has a potty mouth. Mark Burnett, reality tv kingpin, has balls the size of watermelons. Put them together and the MTV viewership is in for one wild ride during the live telecast of the 2007 MTV Movie Awards on June 3. Live. Live. Live.

If MTV execs are sweatin' this sure-as-shit spectacle in the making, their not lettin' on. Like a proud momma, Christina Norman MTV president is offering up praise for the risque Silverman, as reported by The Hollywood Reporter. Its likely this will be a train wreck worth watching, and if episodes of Intervention are any indication, enabling parental figures are key to the equation.

While Jessica Alba was an audience draw at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards for obvious reasons, Silverman has a two-fold approach -- gutter-floating sludge nuggets of humor and her looks are nothin' to shake a stick at. Delightful.

Silverman hosting MTV Movie Awards [The Hollywood Reporter]

A Tale of Three Pirates of the Caribbean

2007-03-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

Arrgg....

The accomplishment of making an award winning film, does not always translate to a big hit at the box office. While industry players may claim contentment with either an armful of trophies or cash in the bank, you wouldn't hear anyone complaining about bringing home a whole lot of both. Disney is set to release the third installment of its Pirates of the Caribbean franchise on May 25, 2007. Is it expected to outsell 'Black Pearl and Dead Man's Chest? Yo ho ho! Will this grand finale to the trilogy be overrun with accolade and kumbaya? Ahoy matie! What can money hungry, statuette loving studios learn from this treasure trove? Plenty o' gold (vaguely Irish vs Pirate, I know).

Here's the winning formula:

Cast Pirates

Now I'm not saying every award winning blockbuster has to consist of complex plots involving pirates. But it is obvious that pirates do make interesting, multi-dimensional characters who readily adapt into the nefarious villains we love and despise. Add to that the drama of pirate drinkin', pillaging, and the cleavage baring pirate fly girls and you're in for a wild ride. Audiences will gladly walk the plank, or shell out $7.50 for a ticket when they know the cost involves high seas metrosexuals. But what if you include stellar....

....Special Effects

The icing on the cake as far as movie goers are concerned, but there are also a heap of awards categories for costuming, cinematography and make-up. No shame in snagging that Oscar or Golden Globe for technical superiority, when the end result is a box office return that allows for the production of meatier fair.

A Little Swashbuckling Never Hurt

A film that takes risks, in grandiose fashion and with reckless abandon is sure to capture audience as well as academy attention. E.T. the Extra-terrestrial sits as the 4th biggest money maker in film history, won four Academy Awards in 1982 and was loaded with oodles of swashbuckling, including a drunken alien dressed like a girl and blatent product placement.

I apologize Stephen Spielberg for comparing your timeless classic to a pirate movie, but it follows the pattern as described above: Casting multi-demensional pirates (E.T.), special effects (and how!) and swashbuckling galore!

Check out Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End trailer for a sneak peek!

Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan

2007-03-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

Six people are currently slated to play the role of Bob Dylan in the Todd Haynes' biopic I'm Not There. Cate Blanchett is one of them.

While it's difficult to envision the super-tall actress capturing the essence of a scrawny young Dylan, I'm sure she's up to the task. More of a concern is whether academy voters will be able to sort out the crazy mess come Oscar time next year, considering it's likely that each actor will have a limited amount of screen time to make his mark. This hasn't stopped Blanchett before as she landed the Oscar in 2004 for her believable portrayal of Katherine Hepburn in The Aviator, despite a minimal supporting role. Instead, they may take the less complicated route of nominating Blanchett as Elizabeth I in The Golden Age.

Gender-bending is not a new phenomenon in cinema and it typically has "awards" written all over it. Hillary Swank won her first Oscar playing Teena Brandon/Brandon Teena in Boys Don't Cry. And Felicity Huffman received an Oscar nomination for her work in TransAmerica. So why are we (and the Academy) so fascinated by women playing men? Or actors playing famous people for that matter? And why has it been steadily reported that seven actors will take on Dylan during different phases of his life, when the IMDb only lists six? Adrian Brody is listed in the cast, with no "character" associated with his name. Is he the seventh Dylan? Are we nearing the end times? The answer my friend is "blowin' in the wind".

Vote Online for CMT Awards

2007-03-01T07:16:00.000-08:00

If you've been disappointed with the results of a parade of recent awards programming, now is your chance to have a say. The CMT Music Awards are a fairly new addition to the awards show circuit, tauted as the only fan-voted country music awards show. Jeff Foxworthy will host, as he has done for the last three years. Viewers can vote for their favorite videos in a two-round format. The first round of nominee selection has been completed with the exception of the final four Video of the Year nominees. Fan-voting for all other category winners is now in full swing.

The Johnny Cash Visionary Award will be given to an as yet unnamed recipient. Strangely enough, this award so obviously named in honor of Johnny Cash, was not "given" to Johnny Cash until 2003, the second year of this event. The Dixie Chicks were honored during the 2002 CMT Awards telecast, its premiere year. This years' recipient will be announced on March 13, so check back for an update.

Expect big-time performances by some of country music's hottest stars, including Carrie Underwood, Kenny Chesney, Tim McGraw, Martina McBride, Sugarland and Dierks Bentley and more. The ceremony will air on April 16, 2007, with a live simulcast playing on affiliated country music radio and a live webcast at CMT.com. What a party!

Kellie Pickler, an American Idol contestant and successful country music artist, will host a one-hour special featuring the eight contenders for Video of the Year, which include:

Toby Keith - "A Little Too Late"
Dixie Chicks - "Not Ready to Make Nice"
George Straigth - "The Seashores of Old Mexico"
Rascal Flatts - "What Hurts the Most"
Carrie Underwood ' "Before He Cheats"
Keith Urban - "Once in a Lifetime"
Sugarland - "Want To"
Kenny Chesney - "You Save Me"

All other related programming surrounding the 2007 CMT Music Awards can be found here.

Happy Voting!

It's Oscar Night - Awards Show Junkies Unite

2007-02-25T09:32:00.000-08:00

It's 11:33 a.m. CST, and E! has already started it's red carpet coverage. Let me repeat, E! is my Oscar coverage dealer, and understands my need to have at least eight hours of pre-Oscar fix before the giant shoot-up begins. Followed by two more hours of post-Oscar party fever. After which, I will fall back on the sofa and revel in the precious hours of my life that I have invested in my pal Oscar.

Alas, I have found a reveler in kind. Each day I receive my awards show report via Google, which helps with blog entry ideas. Imagine my surprise when yesterday up popped a fellow awards show junkie. Rebecca Keister, staff writer for the Sun Chronicle, expressed her similar obsession with awards show viewing. She doesn't realize it yet, but I feel like we're journalistic mental twins. Hopefully she'll leave a comment on Monday morning, once she recovers from her Academy Award sized hangover. Either that or she'll be filing a protective order.

Cheerie-O!

We've Got the Spirit (Awards), Yes We Do

2007-02-22T12:17:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't heard, Oscar's big night is approaching at break neck speed. The stage is set for hours upon hours of glitz and glamour and laughter (thanks, Ellen!) and tears. But if your stomache hurts and your head is spinning from all the hype, campaigning and prognosticating then tune in to Spirit Awards quietly airing the night before. Rooting for the little guy is easy as pie, as they're all "the little guy". So sit back and enjoy a low-key, but equally as relevant night of film airing on the Independet Film Channel (IFC). The most notable categories are the two "first" categories that will honor the efforts of a director/producer team and screenwriter's first film. Delicious!

SPECIAL NOTE: Netflix has been a bit promiscuous this award season, cuz their shackin' up with the Spirit's as well!

Netflix and Oscar: A Match Made in Heaven

2007-02-10T08:20:00.000-08:00

As an avid fan of Netflix for several years (after nearly losing my house to Blockbuster due to extensive late fees), it behooves me that other video rental agencies are attempting to infringe upon Netflix's ingenious idea to mail me movies. Am I in support of a movie rental-by-mail monopoly? Yes, yes I am.

My dreams aside, rather than stoop to the level of those "other" video rental facilities, Netflix has risen to the occasion and jumped in the sack with the most respected and anticipated annual award show programming - the Academy Awards.

The term "strange bedfellows" does not apply here. In fact there could not be two more appropriate film lovers snuggling up under the covers with a giant bowl of popcorn than Netflix and Oscar. The campaign is huge and if you want to get in on the fun, the audience participation portion information can be found here.

Sheena Metal on the Award Train

2007-02-07T11:35:00.000-08:00

I came across this article by Sheena Metal, a woman with music industry know-how. It explored the concept that few people go from obscurity to Grammy's overnight, and that any publicity generating activity should be carefully considered and mapped out. While the focus of her article is on maximizing award exposure for bands, it easily translates to any industry. A nomination with no win is cause for celebration, not shame. What better opportunity to issue a press release than making it as a finalist in a screenwriting competition or a band member garnering a nomination for his guitar prowess. It is all reason to write home about AND gain a little publicity. Thanks Sheena for your great advice! I'll be issuing a press release once my blog gains 50 readers a day! Whoo-hooo!

The Upside of Brain Damage - Smoking Cessation

2007-01-26T18:36:00.000-08:00

You've chewed the gum, worn the patch, walked the steps and even smeared on the hand gel. Now your skin is smooth as a baby's behind, but its still clutching the butt end of a cigarette. Left with a deep sense of frustration and self-loathing (admit it all you traditionally inclined addicts out there, you blame everyone else but yourself), you'll go to any length, and I mean any length to quit. A new study has revealed that a small area of the brain called the insula, is the nerve center of addiction. While this is good news to scientists, it's not such great news for current smokers. The only way to create the desired effect is to damage this part of the brain in a fairly traumatic event, such as a stroke. With all hopes dashed, I feebly light up and announce the award for today's most useless scientific finding goes to the University of Southern California. Since I will be accepting the award on USC's behalf, I'd like to thank Studio 60 for planting the idea of useless scientific findings.

[Source] Fox News

Will Carrie Underwood Score on Grammy Night?

2007-01-22T11:12:00.000-08:00

One might say I've had gamblin' on the brain since my review of Casinomeister's Best and Worst of 2006. In that vain, all bets are on that Carrie Underwood will take home the Best New Artist Grammy on February 11, 2007. Thanks to her overwhelming popularity on American Idol last season and her phenomenal rise in the Billboard Charts with her debut album Some Hearts, she appears to be the favored winner. According to BestBetting , Underwood has a slight edge over James Blunt, and has held this position since December 2006.

One-third of the bets have been placed on Corinne Bailey Rae, who has also had a stellar year with her fresh baby-jazz vocals and playful lyrics on her hit single "Put Your Records On". But a win by Rae would be an upset on the same level as Norah Jones' win for Best Album of the Year in 2003 over Bruce Sprinsteen. Not the exact same level, but close.

My prediction confidence has grown to near unrecognizable heights since accurately predicting Underwood would take home two of her four CMA Award nominations. How do I think she'll fair in the Best Female Country Vocal Performance, in which she's nominated against heavy hitters Gretchen Wilson and Martina McBride? Let's just say I believe this will be Wilson's to lose, but the viewing public won't be horrified if Underwood secures another win.

Casinomeister Names Best and Worst of 2006

2007-01-21T10:49:00.000-08:00

The Unlawful Internet Gambling Act has not dampened the spirits of online gambling websites, and has energized Casinomeister to bestow recognition with the "...only Awards that Matter". Without further ado we delve into the previously untouched arena of casino awards:

A lawsuit was bound to be brewing in the Evil Player category of 2006, but disaster was averted by handing the award over to all evil players everywhere. Previous winners with "evil" in their monikers cried out for nomination and deservedly so, causing casinos to tighten security for evil and angelic players alike.

One way to jam a craw in the jaw of an annoying forum member is to ban them from your site for all eternity. Another is to give them the title Most Annoying Forum Member to wear like a crown of victory over all who doubted their status as "King of Annoyancropolis". Thesmacker is undoubtedly wearing said crown in an extended three-way conversation...with himself.

In a bold move, Casinomeister added the category for Most Bizarre Press Release of 2006, and the winner's press release (CasinoFortune.com) is admittedly very bizarre. But an award for a press release is so bizarre, it borders on groundbreaking. The award for Most Creative but Admittedly Bizarre Category goes to Casinomeister.

You may win big at an online casino, but collecting your winnings in a timely manner is another story. If retroactively changing your payout policy is common practice in the online gambling industry, I'd say its time for a little class action, action. At the very least the Worst Player Experience Runner-up may benefit from an investigation into his claims, and a good attorney.

And finally, in the winner-takes-all category of Best Casino 2006, the award goes to 32Red Casino in a four-year-running record landslide. As can be imagined, a successful online gambling establishment should exude trustworthiness and banish even the slightest inkling of rogue behavior from its collective thought process. See ya next year, and here's hoping 32Red Casino doesn't reappear in Casinomeister's Fall From Grace category. That would be one mighty plunge.

Self-Injurious Moments of 2006 Awards Season

2006-12-31T11:04:00.000-08:00

Without some minor injuries, your favorite awards shows would barely be watchable. Here's a few oozing scabs to pick at:

Writer Annie Proulx wrote a short story back in 1997 that resulted in a film called Brokeback Mountain, which was nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in 2006. She thought it should have won that award. It did not. We’re all entitled to our opinion. Her blast of all things Academy can be viewed here.
Conan O'Brien brought on the funny during the opening sequence of the 58th Annual Emmy Awards, including a controversial nod to the absence of a nomination for ABC's TV series Lost. Unfortunately, Comair Flight 5191 crashed earlier in the day and ruined everything.
Carrie Underwood takes home two CMA Awards. Faith Hill takes home the Practical-Joke-Gone-Horribly-Wrong Award, by faking astonishment when Underwood won Female Vocalist of the Year. No longer wondering why Tim McGraw gets all the acting gigs in the family, are ya? Keith Urban missed all the antics while he was recovering in rehab.
Despite giving out an award for Ringtone of the Year and featuring Shakira in a performance where only her hips were telling the truth, the MTV Music Video Awards had a disappointing television viewer turnout in 2006. To what can we contribute the loss of nearly half the 2004 viewing audience? Famine? The more likely culprit; the omission of the Breakthrough Video category.

In honor of all things outrageous, I present the following award absurdity:

Two South African rugby players, Ben Zimry and Wayne Matthee are suspects in the pummeling and kicking death of opposing player Riaan Loots. Both players were subsequently presented with a player of the year and backline player of the year at the Delicious Rugby Club's award benefit. All things equal, the award goes to the player with the highest death toll.

Good riddance, 2006 with all your bleeding wounds of entertainment.

Six Degrees of Oscar Separation in Quotes

2006-12-19T11:03:00.000-08:00

The official Oscar commemorative poster has been released, opening the way for a walk down memory lane. As we speak, I am waiting for the Academy to grant permission to put the pic of the poster right here on my delightful blog. But while we're waiting, let's relive my top four favorite movie lines. And be prepared for the impending quotable line montage that we all know will be a part of the nostalgia-loving Academy Awards show, airing on February 25, 2007.

UPDATE: The process for me to obtain press status for the Academy Award poster pic has been far to complex for my wee little brain to handle at this juncture. So I will provide you with a description that you can envision while closing your eyes. Please refrain from closing your eyes until after you have read this post, however.

POSTER VISUALIZATION EXERCISE: Close your eyes and picture a giant golden statuette in the likeness of Oscar. Not Oscar the Grouch. Now picture a dark background (possibly black)with memorable quotes from some of Hollywood's most award winning movies in various font sizes and a stunning golden hue. Lovely, isn't it? Finally, envision this poster hovering, preferrably left margin justified, above this blog entry. There. No special press authorization required.

While not all quotes come directly from an Oscar nominated/winning film or performance, six degrees of separation will prevail, linking every one to Academy Award infamy.

"I'm not a hole in the wall, I'm Rollergirl." from Boogie Nights

Paul Thomas Anderson was nominated in the Best Writing category for the Boogie Nights screenplay (ok, that one was easy!)

"Fat guy in little coat" from Tommy Boy

Brian Dennehy played Big Tom Callahan in Tommy Boy
Dennehy played Ted Montague in Romeo + Juliet
Romeo + Juliet received an Oscar nom for Best Art Direction

"Why am I Mr. Pink?" from Resevoir Dogs

Mr. Pink was played by Steve Buscemi
Buscemi played the role of Garland "the Marietta Mangler" Greene in Con Air
"How Do I Live" the theme from Con Air, was nominated in the Best Song Category

"I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!" from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

The Austin Powers film series is a parody of the James Bond film series
From 1962-1967 and again in 1971 Sean Connery played the role of our favorite 007, Bond, James Bond
Sean Connery won the Oscar for Best Actor in a Supporting Role for his turn as Jim Malone in The Untouchables

And there you have it, my favorite movie quotes and their connection to Oscar. What about you, my loyal reading public? Do you have any favorite movie lines with a dubious Oscar connection? Have at it! If you are having trouble with the visualization exercise, then take your existentialism-lacking ass to the poster website.

MySpace to Honor Do-gooders with Impact Awards

2006-11-13T17:37:00.000-08:00

In an effort to cast aside its image as a festering cesspool of child predators and meeting ground for bed-hopping teens, MySpace has created the Impact Awards. These awards are intended to recognize members of the infamous social/community portal that have used their MySpace powers for good.

If you know of someone who is a MySpace member and has made an impact in one of six categories (community-building, health and safety, social justice, poverty relief, environmentalism and international development) using their MySpace account, then you can nominate them here. And in case you were wondering, yes, the Impact Awards have friends, too.

Fox Awards Reality with Reality Remix Really Awards

2006-11-04T09:27:00.000-08:00

Say that five times fast. Not sure what the word "really" is doing in the title, except to attempt the most ridiculous, retch-inducing, random act of allite-ration in the history of award show programming. Well done, Fox, well done.

Kennedy, of MTV fame hosted the night. Poor Kennedy. Where did your career go wrong? The stars (erp) from Laguna Beach were too busy, either preparing to shoot the upcoming season or continuing to sully the good name of the real Laguna Beach, to show up for the ceremony. Shame, shame.

A drunken may lay ensued (expected), and awards were dolled out in the following manner:

Favorite Fight winner - Pumpkin vs New York on Flavor of Love
Favorite Pottymouth winner - Janice Dickinson on the Surreal Life
Favorite Tears winner - Andrae Gonzalo from Project Runway
Best Shomance winner - Mike Boogie & Dr Will Kirby from Big Brother All Stars
Favorite Winner winner - BJ Averell & Tyler MacNiven from the Amazing Race
Best Hottie winner - Katherine McPhee from American Idol
Favorite Villain winner - Dr Will Kirby from Big Brother All Stars
Favorite Judge winner - Carrie Ann Inaba from Dancing With the Stars
Favorite Altered State winner - Lisa DAmato from America's Next Top Model
Favorite Reality Show winner - American Idol
Favorite Non-comp Series winner - Real World Key West & Surreal Life
Favorite Competition Show winner - Big Brother All Stars
Most Memorable Reality Performer winner - Johnny Fairplay from Survivor

[Source] Realityblurred.com
[Source] Tvgasm.com

Blogcritics Gets Hip, Crisp New Look

2006-10-31T19:59:00.000-08:00

As a new writer for Blogcritics, I was just learning to navigate my way around the site and get a feel for where the articles and topics I enjoy were located. Then, WHAM-BAM they up and changed everything. A change for the better as it turns out. The redesign leaves you with a fresh, clean feeling.... well I don't like where this is going!? What I'm really trying to convey is how the same great writers and personality can still be found at Blogcritics. You want reviews on music, literature or movies. They still have reviews. Looking for the mental_floss Q of the Day. It's still there to tickle your sense of inquisitiveness. It's always nice to see a site raise the bar, rather than get all comfy with the same tired look. Now the bar is so high I can barely see it. But I'm only 5'1", you'll probably have better luck. So head on over that way and you be the judge. The award for best redesign on a website, ever...goes to Blogcritics!

Academy Award Trivia

2006-10-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

As a lover of all things Oscar, I took O'Neil's Oscar Trivia Quiz and scored 77%. Ouch. Hey wait, that's a solid "C". I will not hang my head in shame. Take the quiz yourself smarty-pants and see how well you do.

Runaway Bride Wants Divorce

2006-10-10T05:31:00.000-07:00

The award for most delusional non-celebrity goes to Jennifer Wilbanks, a.k.a. The Runaway Bride. She's had some time to think while completing her stint as server of the community, and what she's come to realize is that mowing lawns is no way to make a living. Unfortunately, the right to sue for half of everything your significant other owns is reserved for those couples who actually made it down the aisle. The award for most delusional celebrity goes to Mel Gibson.

[Source]

American Takes Sixth Nobel

2006-10-09T05:52:00.000-07:00

Nobel Prize winning Americans unite!! Congrats to Edmund S. Phelps who was awarded the 2006 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences. There are two awards left, the literature and peace prizes, and the Americans are looking for a sweeeeeeep! I'm ready to let the news that Canada won the 2005 Dumbest Government of the Year award, go. For more news on the Nobel Prize go here or here.

[Source]

Rewarding Stupidity

2006-09-24T22:14:00.000-07:00

The winners for 4th Annual World Stupidity Awards have been revealed! I love that there are awards for stupidity! I love that there is an actual ceremony and that awards are accepted on the winners behalf because the winner was not in attendance. I love that President Bush has his own category of stupid statements so he's guaranteed to win. I love that Bulgaria is pissed that they didn't win any awards and snark about it here. Only area for improvement regarding the stupidity awards is to bring back the Dumbest Governement of the Year award. The Canadians took it from us last year; I think we have a chance to knock them off their high horse, and reclaim victory for our proud nation.

[Source]

Conspiracy theory: AMA tickets not available

2006-09-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

The American Music Awards, one of the few legit award shows that allows the public to select the winners, is apparently barring the public from joining in the festivities at the Shrine Auditorium. In previous years, tickets for floor or balcony seating were available through Ticketmaster or various online brokers. After a thorough search of the internet, it appears that no tickets are available anywhere?? I have sent a request for pricing information to TotalTickets.com to see if they actually have tickets available. I also sent a request to abc.com for information regarding the availability of tickets to the show. If you have information that can unravel this mystery, let me know!

UPDATE: I spoke with Melissa at Dick Clark Productions and she assured me that tickets would be available in the next 2-3 weeks through TicketMaster.

[Source]

Popeye was wrong

2006-09-15T22:04:00.000-07:00

The award for the most unhealthy healthy food goes to spinach! The award for most creative color coding of a visual goes to CNN. I guess soilent green is spinach, not people. Blech!

[Source]

Dory's voice to Oscar host

2006-09-10T09:17:00.000-07:00

A few hours ago, I was blow drying my hair thinking about how the Academy Awards could possibly get any better. This also got me thinking what a great brainstorming activity blow drying my hair is and that I should consider washing my hair more often. Not freakish OCD often, but more than twice a week should give me ample weekly brainstorming time. But I digress. There is always room for improvement, even where the Academy Awards are concerned. Perhaps Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie could get married during the telecast, or a drunken Mel Gibson would rush the stage and flash photos of baby Suri. Or maybe, just maybe Ellen DeGeneres could host! Now I realize that Ellen DeGeneres as host seems too good to be true, and when I think of something that's too good to be true I frequently replay the ol' when something seems too good to be true it probably is adage in my mind. In this case Ellen DeGeneres as host of the 79th Academy Awards seems too good to be true, but it IS true. Which leads me to the power of positive thinking, which also seems too good to be true. By the way, lovely photo on the press release, Ellen!

Celebrity moms beware!

2006-09-09T20:07:00.000-07:00

Katie, quit you're whining! Suri, we want to see you now!! Lun Lun (pronounced loon-loon), you are the kinda celebrity mom that we dream about! You lay in your little panda nest and have your baby on display for all the world to see immediately following a very noisy birth. With a live camera on you 24/7 , we watch your every stretch and stroke as you cuddle your tiny infant, encouraging and coaxing it to nurse. So the award for most fabulous celebrity mom goes to Lun Lun at the Atlanta Zoo! We anxiously anticipate the tiny panda baby's name, but we bet it won't be Suri. You can watch the live feed here.

Get your hand out of my gift bag!

2006-08-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

As a member of the middle income tax bracket, my heart swelled when I learned the IRS would be targeting the Hollywood set for the fair market value of their gift bag and the gifts it contains. However, as I conducted extensive research for this blog entry, I was intrigued to find that the IRS website has a link to "What's Hot" at the IRS. What the, huh?!?! My assumption that the IRS was a money hungry, bureaucratic blow-hard, squelching the meager earnings of the people has been incorrect all along. Instead, it seems the IRS web master has his finger on the pulse of the masses in regard to relevant tax pop culture. Now that I have come to terms with the hip, cool, trendy IRS - I'm adding a link to the hottest IRS news on the net.

Hamburgaled..a sordid tale

2006-08-21T11:41:00.000-07:00

And the award for the world's most expensive 1/4 lb hamburger goes to..... Wendy's. My son and I unknowingly stopped there to pick-up a burger and fries after an eventful morning of shopping at Target. My husband and I had recently revamped our monthly budget and determined that we eat out entirely too much, so I thought I'd keep the cost down by ordering two single hamburgers and 2 medium fries. No drinks. No Frosty. Not even cheese. The offending total is circled on my receipt to the left. When I pulled up to the window, I explained to the young lady that I only ordered 2 hamburgers (in the event that they had erroneously charged me for 5 burgers or something) and 2 med fries. She proceeded to explain to my horror that each hamburger was $2.59 EACH!! Holy %$@&*! I said. She calmly referred me here and motioned for me to pull ahead to make way for the next unwitting patron.

58 things I like about you

2006-08-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

In honor of the 58th annual Primetime Emmy Awards broadcasting on August 27, 2006, here's a little list to get this blog started:

Actress Diana Muldaur was born 58 years ago today. For those of you not familiar with her work, she received two Emmy nominations for her portrayal of no-holds-barred attorney Rosalind Shays on L.A. Law. She also played thrice divorced Dr. Katherine Pulaski on season two of Star Trek: The Next Generation. You can purchase her as an action figure here. Better hurry, there's only one left.
58 members of the species/subspecies Felis silvestris catus and their corresponding rectal swabs were used to determine if cats posed a risk for transmission of Salmonella. And not just any ol' Salmonella; antimicrobial drug-resistant Salmonella. The resulting results of this study are:

1. Keep your cats litter box clean
2. Wash your hands
3. Sick cats are bad
For all you cat lovers out there, and I know there are millions of you, no cat was injured during the study (at least I don't think so). Needless to say, all of the 58 cats were dead on arrival at the CDC, and had previously signed waivers that upon their demise they would happily donate their potentially Salmonella infested bodies to science.

And finally, please make someone very happy and go to ebay to bid on these 58 year old doctor stamps.